Thursday, November 17, 2011

Going Postal

The vicious terrier
So imagine this for a moment. You work from home and are sitting at your computer when all of a sudden you hear someone completely laying on their horn. It takes you a second to realize that this obnoxious honking is coming from your own driveway. You're annoyed, glance out the window, and see a US Postal Service (USPS) truck in the drive with a rather obese, crabby old woman inside the truck with her elbow on that horn. 

Welcome to my reality! I find this behavior particularly rude and obnoxious so I ran outdoors to her truck I asked her why she does the horn thing. Her response was that it's standard operating procedure for houses that have dogs. She "toots" the horn to scare away any dogs in the vicinity. She said that she's a "trainer" and this is what postal employees do to avoid dog bites. She also said she does this when she sees that people might be at home. 

Personally I believe that she's just too fat and lazy to drag herself out of her truck and up the walk to deliver packages and this is all a farce. I did a bit of research. Nowhere can I find any USPS protocol stating that USPS drivers should lay on their horns to scare away any dogs. The last time she pulled her horn trick my dog was inside and looking out of the glass door. I could see him from her truck as I collected my package.

Inefficient federal agency truck
Will repeatedly honking your horn really scare away a dog? I doubt it. If anything it makes them curious to come and see who is in the driveway. 

FedEx, UPS, and the dry cleaner have no problem delivering packages to my house even when the dog is out. The dry cleaner hands out dog treats to distract the dogs. For some reason other USPS workers have no problem confronting my terrier when delivering packages. One Saturday a very nice elderly postal employee carried two packages up the front steps, rang the bell, and patted my dog on the head. He clearly missed that "training" session about laying on your horn in driveway of houses with dogs.

So what to do about this problem? I asked neighbors with dogs if they've received the same treatment from this woman. Yes they all have. They have complained about her and so have I but she remains, laying on her horn with contempt. I think she inadvertently gave away her scheme when she told me she honks her horn when she sees people might be at home. A truly lazy postal service bureaucrat who cannot be fired because she's been there forever. 

Why do we still have 6-days of postal service when this federal agency is recording losses in the billions? Billions! My question is how do you even lose billions of dollars? Personally I can live without the daily onslaught of junk mail, catalogs for stuff I don't need, and the nearly daily credit card offers from Chase Bank. Maybe the Postal Service should deliver mail only 3 or 4 times a week and cut out Saturday service completely. This would also save me from numerous encounters with my snarky mail lady who epitomizes this inefficient bureaucracy.

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