Monday, November 23, 2015

Tis' the Season

Milo Baughman Chaise
Has the pre-holidays onslaught been filling up your mailbox since September and overflowing out of your mailbox over the past few weeks? Catalogs, special offers, sweet deal post cards. The season is upon us—the holiday shopping season complete with the stacks of holiday catalogs. E-mail offers abound as well, but I'm talking about those glossy catalogs and fliers that you get to lug into the house everyday or just pitch directly into the recycling bin.

Despite seeming like a huge waste of paper, the annual holiday catalogs are interesting to flip through and a mindless time wasting activity that I've enjoyed every holiday season for as long as I can remember. My favorite catalog was always Neiman Marcus Christmas Book, which featured every unimaginable item that I could not possibly afford.  Since I never bought anything Neiman Marcus finally got the hint and took me off their list.

Neiman Marcus has quickly been replaced by the Restoration Hardware tome. Their RHModern catalog is a hefty 540 pages of rather expensive and very much modern housewares with a dark and heavy aura. Some of which are just so impractical, ugly, and even dangerous that I have to share a few favorites that would not survive a week in my house:
Cast Cambium Console
  • Cast Cambium Console Table is a mere $1195 and is supposed to resemble a tree trunk. If I didn't know this was supposed to be a tree trunk table I would think of it as a piece of modern sculpture that could be easily tripped over.
  • Fortuny Studio 76 Floor Lamp at nearly $4000. If this lamp were to remain standing in my house while balanced on spindly legs, it would certainly be deliberately pointed in someone's eyes  in an attempt to blind a guest who might take one of the boys up on their offer to just stare into the light. Plus it looks like a gadget out of a 1960s James Bond film.
  • The Texture of Tibet collection is my absolutely favorite in luxurious impracticality. The Milo Baughman Model #149 Chaise, 1954 in Ivory Tibetan Wool is the ultimate luxury item that would instantly get destroyed in my home. For starters it is white. Being furry and a chaise lounge just creates more temptation. The boys, their friends, and the dog would all be drawn to climb on, eat snacks on, wipe their dirty fingers and paws, and spill pop all over this lovely lounger. How could anyone keep this chair clean and not end up with a nasty, matted woolly mess that just drained you of $3295?
Fortuna Studio 76 Floor Lamp
Restoration Hardware Modern wins—catalog with the most expensive and least festive (in my opinion at least) holiday catalog. They beat out the flying drones, back hair shaver, and customized bobble-head statue of yourself in the Sharper Image catalog and the extravagant Nutcrackers and expensive fake, plastic Christmas trees in the Frontgate catalog. Consumerism at its finest brought straight to my mailbox.

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